FOSS Has Title Shot After Epic Semifinal

This game turned into an ESPN Classic

Shoulder Shrug won in down-to-the-wire fashion last Friday night. In a contest that featured everything; long throws, great catches, tough defense, controversial calls, and even player ejections, Shrug escaped with a 26-25 win. “It was probably the most intense game we’ve ever played in. We’ve never experienced a game as physical as that one,” QB Kyle Woods said. WR Tim Ghiorso followed, “They were the first team who were almost as good looking as us.”

Shrug's Defense Held True in the Final Moment

Either way, Shrug proved tough in their first ever playoff game. After storming out to a quick 13-6 lead, a touchdown strike to WR Alan Zolfart at half’s end gave FOSS a 14-point advantage. Teams traded touchdowns to begin the second, but the 26-13 lead eventually withered to 26-19. With less than three minutes remaining, usually the time of game when the FOSS offense eats clock, TBA intercepted an errant pass by Woods. The pick led to an easy six points and an opportunity to tie the game on the extra point. DB Tim Ghiorso denied the conversion, and Shrug’s defensive prowess sent TBA to the consolation game. Ex-improv rapper Drew Blottie tweeted the last defensive play from his point of view, “The QB had protection, but he threw in Tim’s direction, which led to the deflection, and TBA’s perplexion—correction—dejection.”

The defensive stop and ensuing first down capped a thrilling game that included the first player ejection of the season, according to Ginny Blottie Fact Checker Inc. When a controversial call led to the Alan Zolfart touchdown, TBA’s starting center John Doughy Doe took objection. “ What the (Expletive) (expletive) (expletive) (expletive)? (Expletive) is so (explevite) (expletive) Tyler Bennett (expletive) (expletive) (expletive).” His language earned him a one-way trip to the parking lot and TBA played without their first string center the rest of the game. “A little whippin' boy training will sort that boy out. No doubt about it,” said Coach Ghiorso.

Shrug scored 26 points on four touchdown throws by Kyle Woods. WR Nathan Ghiorso caught two, and WRs Alan Zolfartalot and Tim Ghiorso caught one each. WR Ian Dyrness made the most important catch, though—a 3^rd down grab from his knees that sealed Shrug’s place in the championship game. The defense forced one turnover and one punt.

FOSS will face Paging Dr. Loggins in this year’s championship. They are not a new foe; Shrug beat them in the first game of the season 25-7, and even beat Loggins in the only win of their inaugural season. That game was marred though when Tyler Bennett took the innocence of a small child onlooker. 

“I’ve never looked at Tyler the same way since that game,” Linda Bennett said over email, after a request for a face-to-face interview was denied. (Probably because of the shame). Details from that bittersweet night can be found here.

Bring your rally towels and best spirit to John Kemp Field this Friday night at 6.30pm for the big game. Go Shoulder Shrug!